Mercedes

......The necessity is a matter of family. Orlando was raised by our daughter, who married a wonderful man last year who has only one flaw we are aware of — he is allergic to cats. They agreed that a new home would have to be found for Orlando. Our daughter’s former roommate agreed to take him. But she, too, soon married a wonderful man who — alas — had no fondness for cats. The pressure grew for Orlando to find a third home.
......We have always liked Orlando. Unlike Mercedes, who is spectacularly unfriendly almost all the time, Orlando is incredibly relational. Reach down and pet Mercedes, and she will bite you. Orlando, on the other hand, loves attention and responds warmly. The husband of our daughter’s roommate described Orlando as “needy – a cat that craves as much attention as a dog.”
......Though a turn-off to him, this was quite appealing to us – a cat that actually wanted to be petted! The only time Mercedes will even allow you to touch her is when her need for the warmth of your lap exceeds her distaste for your hand on her back or head. Even then, she turns her head to cast the evil eye and dare you to overdo it.
......Long ago we concluded that Mercedes must have experienced trauma as a young kitten. Abandoned by her mother, abused by children…who knows? She simply does not desire attention – except food, of course – and will resist your every effort to show affection.
......So, we agreed to take Orlando.

Orlando

But how to integrate him into our home and somehow achieve a tolerable state of affairs between him and Mercedes.
......That is what this blog is about. We brought Orlando home yesterday and we’d like to share our story – mistakes as well as successes – of how to create co-existence between two adult cats of opposite sex (though both are neutered). We did only a minimal amount of research on how to proceed. We will rely mostly on our knowledge of cat psyche (we’ve owned cats for 30 years) and our instincts.

First Day

......We brought Orlando to our home after an hour and half car ride. He was in his carrier the whole way, which had also served as his own special space in his previous home. He expressed his dislike for the car ride the entire way home. Not unexpected; all our previous cats hated car rides as well.
We decided earlier to put Orlando in one of our spare bedrooms on the main floor of our house, where he would have no contact with Mercedes until we decided the time was right.
......Cats, we knew from previous moving experiences, are horribly intimidated by new surroundings. When we moved Mercedes to our current home six years ago, she quickly vanished from sight. We found her in the downstairs bathroom, sitting on top of the linen cabinet. No amount of coaxing could get her to come down. We brought food and put it a few feet away from her litter box. When we weren’t present, she would come down off the cabinet, eat and toilet, and return. This went on for days.
......Eventually, Mercedes began to venture to other parts of the house. She did not lounge or stay there, she just checked it out, only to return to her perch in the bathroom. As time went on, she began to linger longer in other parts of the house. We moved her feeding station to the kitchen. In due time – several weeks as I recall – she roamed freely throughout the house, spending time wherever it was warm and comfortable.
......So, we were anticipating that Orlando would be similarly intimidated to be in a new place. He was.
We left him in his carrier in the car while we placed his food and water dishes in the room, filled, and set up a clean litter box. While Mercedes was preoccupied with stuffing her face, we took Orlando straight to the bedroom. Mercedes took no note.
......We let Orlando stay in his carrier for about an hour while we attended to other things. When we went back to the room, we opened the carrier door and allowed him to come out. He responded immediately, though cautiously, sniffing and investigating every inch of the way. We petted him and talked soothingly.
After a while, we left the room, leaving the carrier there, with the door open. Everyone, it would seem – cats and humans – slept the night peacefully.

Second Day

......It being Sunday, we slept in, finally arising at about seven-thirty or eight (that’s late for us). After starting the coffee, I entered Orlando’s room. Seeing him nowhere, I got on my knees and looked under the bed. There he was, at the far end near the heat register. I held out my hand and called him. He came immediately. He nuzzled and purred while I petted him. We visited for about 10 minutes and I left the room.
......Mercedes was sitting about 15 feet away when I came out of Orlando’s bedroom. She watched curiously but made no advance toward me. Thinking about breakfast, I assumed. I fed her and she ate some of it, as usual, and went back downstairs where the coal stove provided the temperature she likes.
Throughout the morning, we visited Orlando. Most of the time he was under the bed; once or twice he was sitting on the bed. He immediately came to us, nuzzled and purred, and even went to his food dish to eat.
......We decided to remove Orlando’s carrier from the room, since it didn’t seem to be meeting any obvious need. We put it at the back door and left the door open. We did this deliberately so that Mercedes could discover it in the normal course of walking around the house. Being something new, we expect her to thoroughly investigate it. She has spent most of the time in the room with us, where the stove is. She hates the cold.
......When we visited Orlando in the early afternoon, he had somehow gotten under the bed covers. We peeled them off until we found him. He looked at us as if to say, “I’m pretty smart, aren’t I?” We left him there.
......Our theory is that Orlando needs to become completely comfortable with the room he’s in before we let him know there’s more house to explore. We can’t even think about allowing him and Mercedes to meet until he’s no longer intimidated by the new surroundings. One step at a time. Build his confidence. Avoid an untimely meeting.
......I’m writing this at about two in the afternoon, and Mercedes has yet to show any awareness that Orlando is in the house. I’m not saying she doesn’t know something is a bit different – his odor on us, us going in and out of a bedroom we rarely enter – but she doesn’t seem the least aware that we have begun a process which will dramatically change her life.